A Quest of a Genius Mind
by soul-of-insanity16
Summary: Natsu tries to woo Lucy backed up by the Fairy Tail gang. As expected, craziness ensues. Nalu. Natsu's POV


Thank you all the amazing people who read my stories and liked it. It gave me some confidence to tingle your humor glands a little more. So, this is a challenge I took- to write in Natsu's POV. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't. A review would be great. Enjoy. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except two adorable beagles.

It perfectly normal to be threatened with a spear in the middle of the night. Just ask my next door neighbor. But he is usually threatened with fire when I'm hungry. My motive is pure and understandable but come on, what do they have?

Erza's face was still looming infront of mine. I could see more faces of bloody bastards behind her. Even my best friend was with them. Traitorous Happy. As if I would wait hours to catch your favorite fish again. NEVER AGAIN BROTHER. Never again.

"Natsu, we need to talk." Erza's manly voice boomed in the dark. I thought of sending her flying away like I would do to any other person but my lifelong experience and genius mind told me not to. Then the light was flipped on and the other hoards of people came and sat on MY bed.

Before starting any talking I stepped on Gray's head and found myself some good food. Food. My only friend left as all the other ones like to torture me in the night. Except Lucy. After some searching I realized that she wasn't here.

Maybe I should go and live with her.

The "talk" was about Lucy and some shitty festival. Mirajane gushed on about it calling it the day of love and violins and happily ever after. I could see the hearts coming out of her brain. The only sane person looked like Gajeel who was sitting in the corner while the others continued their madness.

"Yo" I said, sitting next to Gajeel. The metal sucker looked up surprised. He was having sex with Levy, you know. With his eyes of course. And yes, I know what sex is. I ain't a kid. Well, even kids know it nowadays.

"So what's going on here?" I asked, he ignored. "Why is everyone here?"

After a little grunting and hippo noises, he turned around to face me.

"First, Levy and the creepy red hair woman dragged me here. Second, it's all girl talk. I don't talk girl talk. And thirdly, I think it's about you confessing to Lucy or something."

"Oh." In truth I was feeling a little sick. Pale. Constipated. Vomity.

"Just say fuck and it will all be alright." Metal man advised me which I followed. Hell, he was smart.

/

So after some whining, stripping, fighting, cursing and sex eyeing everyone managed to sit in a circle. Obviously there was food and booze in the middle. Don't worry. I'm a good kid that doesn't keep alcohol in the house. It was all Cana's doing.

There was a huge scroll of paper in the middle with ideas on how I should confess to Lucy. As I said above my lifelong experience and genius mind did not let me burn the blasted paper and try to eat it with chopsticks. Again, it was because of Erza the demon. She curses my life minute-ly.

"SO, everyone should say their ideas one by one so we could help Natsu with his non-existent love life." Levy said, looking at me sympathetically. Nobody gave ME the sympathy look.

"I have a great love life." I declared, glaring at all the sniggering people. I took out my frustration by burning Gray's hair. Macho moron.

"Name any girl that you have even kissed." Bixlow wagged his tongue at me. All his tongue action made me believe that either he was very experienced in that matter or he was simply gay. But he had challenged my manhood and well, I had to protect it.

"There was that girl in that village where we did that mission. And the other chick at the bar where we drank. You remember Elfman?"

All eyes turned towards Elfman and all he could do was scratch his head. Genius, as I said above two times. Absolutely genius.

"Let's leave that shit and get to work." Gray announced while Juvia nursed his head. Sissy. But it would be cool if Lucy would nurse my head like that. And make me fire food. And let me sleep in her bed. Whoa, sissy alert.

Then the ideas came pouring out. Trust me. I was more romantic then any of these people here. You don't believe me. Well, hear this-

Elfman- He should me manly and show-off his manliness. (I was already manly and Lucy saw my manliness everyday.)

Mirajane- He should buy chocolates and take her out for dinner and say something like, 'Whatever are souls are made of, yours and mine are the same. (Any guy, would die before saying that. I would dress as a unicorn with a purple tie before saying that.)

Lisanna- He should ask her to marry him. (Really people, atleast let us turn 18. I don't want to be chased by the police or something.)

Bixlow- Give her some loving. (As if I was going to listen to someone whose tongue was out of his mouth all the time.)

Loki- Don't even come close to her. (The ladies man already had too many girls. Why did he have to pry on mine? Assholic asshole.)

Erza- Bend on one knee and tell her to be forever yours. Also hire some musicians for background music. (Girly. Plus I didn't have any money. Except the few thousand I save for food. AND FOOD COMES FIRST.)

Levy- Read her, Shakespeare. (Huh, who's he?)

Gajeel- Duel with her. (…Don't even ask)

Juvia- Stalk and find everything about her. (…...….above comment repeated.)

Gray- Just buy her some fucking gift. (Hopele…wait a second. That could work.)

And that's the reason why I forced Max to open his shop at four. And then burned it. Accidentally.

/

I guess seven in the morning wasn't a time to wake up a girl. They are overly cranky. Or maybe Lucy was having PMS. Yes, I know what PMS is. Do you even see what kind of people I'm surrounded with? It really isn't my fault.

Anyway, back to my quest for getting the girl, I barged into Lucy's house, woke her up and wished her a very Happy Valentine's Day. And she kicked me. Sigh, nobody respects me nowadays. But my spirits didn't dampen and I effectively shoved the gifts into her hand. She looked confused and sexy, mind it. She opened the one with the pokemon packing.

"Thank you Natsu. I really am fla….wait a second, why the hell did you give me towels?" she asked flapping like a mad penguin. I calmly told her to read the note. Of course, she liked my gift. It was nice, useful and cheap. Cheap isn't the right word, maybe low-priced. Yeah, low-priced.

"Dear Lucy" her expression softened at the dear. I'm so cool. "I bought you some nice smelling towels that are also long so that you won't be shy the next time we bathe together. Love, Natsu." Her expression was changing pretty quickly. She looked like a raging bull now. In a second, I was kicked out and dumped at the porch. Ow, this mat was hurting my butt. When I move here I will definitely buy a softer one.

But more important things were at hand. I put my ear to the door and used my ninja skills to listen what was going inside. Apparently, it was a lot of violence.

After a good five minutes of cursing and breaking, things calmed down. Maybe she was going to look at my second gift. Maybe she won't like it. What the hell, will I do? People will laugh at my manliness. My first confession would be a fail. I would lie in some pub, drinking like Cana and stripping like Gray. I would be a mad and crazy person like Erza. I may become a stalker like Juvia. NO, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO.

Just then the door opened and Lucy flung herself on me. It wasn't that I didn't like it but this must be the millionth time she squashed my face into her boobs. I still wasn't used to it. After a little more squashing she got up and extended her hand.

"Come on, let's go somewhere."

Grinning, I took her hand. Closing the door of her apartment we made our way out. Before shutting the door, I noticed the bouquet of flowers I had got her lying on the table. The note was in her hand though. The note that said,

'Keep smiling the seven kinds of smile you have. But reserve the last four only for me. Love, Natsu.'

**THE END**


End file.
